Are You Calling Me Lazy?

The Mommy Wars…the entire concept makes me cringe. Mostly I hate it because of what an emotionally charged, and intensely personal subject motherhood can be. I recently saw an episode of Anderson where the guests were SAHMs and working moms discussing who was happier. I was appalled to hear the working moms say they thought SAHMs were lazy! Don’t believe me? See for yourself…

Fightin’ words, right? (It brought me back to an experience when a “friend” told me that being a SAHM meant just “staying home and wiping butts all day.”) But once I got past being personally offended, I had to think deeper about it all. Can anybody tell me how we got to the point in society where women (specifically moms!) feel the need to judge, criticize and downright belittle which career path other women take in life?
I am a happy stay-at-home mom. I look at it as a privilege to do this job. I gave up my teaching career to be home, but I am my children’s first teacher and I can’t tell you how much I love that! It isn’t always easy. There are days when I feel completely overwhelmed. There are days when I feel like I have NO idea what I’m doing. Here’s the thing: I have to believe that every working mom feels exactly the same way. Which brings me to my point. Stay-at-home moms and working moms have have the most important things in common. We’re all doing our best. We all want our kids to be outstanding. We all hold our breath that they’ll behave in public. We are all exhausted. And every once in a while we probably all wonder if the grass is greener. I don’t know how ANY of us do it! It’s not easy being a mom…weather you work outside of the home or in the home. Why aren’t we all supporting each other? Encouraging each other? Holding each other up, rather than knocking each other down? Toasting our accomplishments over a glass of wine or 3? We should be each other’s biggest fans!
I say, go forth and find your own personal joy in motherhood, however that may be. For some that means spending the day at home in sweats, getting play-doh under your fingernails and jumping into action whenever you hear “I’m bored.” For others that means putting on heels, rocking a killer manicure, jumping into action in the board room and coming home at the end of the day. I don’t believe stay-at-home moms make the best moms. I don’t believe working moms make the best moms. I believe happy moms make the best moms.
So what do you think?


  1. I agree 100% Marie!!
    I am a Stay-at-Home-Working Mom and it is so tough most days. I am in the barn at 6am. Justin drops Lydia off at 7:20 and we finish chores together til 10:30. Then we are both back down to the farm at 4:30 until Justin gets home from work and picks her up. Sometimes she is down there with me until 8pm. Most people think because I have 6 hours during the middle of the day “not at work” that my house must be spottless and I have so much time to grocery shop and clean!!! They don’t understand what having a 2 1/2 yr old with you ALL DAY means!! It’s udderly exhausting most days.
    Every mom needs to do what they feel is best for them and their family!

    • Wow…you’re one busy lady! And you have the stress of both worlds, working AND staying home. I once heard that on average a toddler demands your attention every 4 minutes. Tell THAT to the people who wonder what you do when you’re not in the barn! 🙂

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