5 Solid Reasons Why the Kardashians Drive Me Krazy! (Especially Kim)

I’m not ashamed to admit that I love reality TV. The trashier the better. But after watching the first season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians I decided I could no longer give them my viewership. I didn’t want those idiots making a penny off of me. Then came the Oprah interview that recently aired. I had to watch because I was certain Oprah would tear them to shreds and be as disgusted with them as I am. But to my horror…she actually seemed to LIKE them. Ugh! One thing that interview did for me was reaffirm my loathing for those kooky Kardashians. Here are 5 solid reasons they drive me krazy:

I Haaate? How everything they saaay? Sounds like a series of questionnns?

You know exactly what I’m talking about, right? Picture this scenario. Kim walks into the Kardashian family kitchen wearing a new skimpy leopard print tank top. Khloe freaks out:

Khloe: Oooh? my gooosh, Kim? I’m loviiing? that shirt soooo hard?
Kim: Would you belieeeeve? Macyyyy’s? summer clearance? 78 dollarrrs?
Kourtney: You guyyys? My waterrr? Totallyyy??? Just broke?

Barf! Just speak normally!

Fake! Fake! Fake! 

The Kardashians are so artificially made up, I sometimes confuse them for mannequins. We’re talking fake hair, fake nails, fake tans, fake eyelashes, fake teeth, and even fake marriages. Seriously, take away all that fake glam and whatever is left over must be creepy as hell. I think it’s hilarious that it makes headlines on the gossip blogs whenever Kim steps out in public with *gasp* no make-up on! The majority of the Kardashians are literally unrecognizable in any pictures taken before the year 2000 because of (we can only assume) massive amounts of facial reconstruction procedures.

Are those stray insects or eyelashes?

Um…this looks like me every morning at the bus stop.








They’d Slap Their Names On Toilet Bowl Cleaner If It Meant More $$$

So as far as I can tell the way the Kardashians make most of their money is through their endorsements and product lines. Here are some of the products they have either advertised or put their name on (in order of obnoxiousness):

Perfect Skin, a skin care system: It’s not fair to market perfect skin from a bottle when theirs 
                                                            clearly comes from air brushing and Photoshop.

Approximately 93,927 different parfumes: For me personally, I would not chose to smell like    
                                                                                Kardashian. Something tells me their scent  is actually 
                                                                                a combination of chlamydia and lip gloss. I’ll pass.  

Virgins, Saints and Angels Jewelry Collection: An ironic name for a product line developed by 
                                                                                       the Kardashian sisters, no? 

Kardashian Silly Bandz: I would rather my daughter had 45 piercings and 29 tattoos than 
                                              wear these. Pimp yourselves to bimbos in their 20’s, Kardashians…but 
                                               not to little girls. 


Sugar Factory Couture Lollipops: Because everyone should have a $25 rhinestone encrusted sucker.


The Kardashian Credit Card: It’s a credit card with a picture of the Kardashian sisters on it. Why not
                                                        let these krazy bitches make money off of your debt. Shame 
                                                        on anyone who bought into this one!  

Zestra Essential Arousal Oils: This one was directly endorsed by Kris Jenner…the MOM! I’d say that’s 
                                                      barf-inducing at the very least. 

Those STUPID Christmas Card Pictures: 

There are no words necessary for this one…just see for yourself:

And THIS one’s in 3D…bonus!

My Husband Has Fallen Under Their Spell!!!

He totally has a thing for Kim…says she looks “exotic.” What? This stay-at-home-mom isn’t “exotic” enough for him? Doesn’t he think my daily pony tail, my dark under eye circles, my 10 year old ill-fitting wardrobe of sweat pants and t-shirts, my mini-van, and my ever flattening ‘mom butt’ are “exotic?” I guess I’ll have to start working on our family’s formal 3D Christmas card theme portrait right now. Maybe then he’ll appreciate me as much as he appreciates her. 





Comments

  1. Visiting from SITS!

    I, too, have a love affair with reality TV… but thankfully, I have not watched a single episode of this show. I don’t think I could watch very long, your list sounds valid to me!

    And there are Kardashian silly bands?! Good grief.

    • Well, thank you for stopping by! And thanks especially for validating my list. It’s always good to know I’m not the only one. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. this is hilarious, and worth sharing so I will!

  3. {Melinda} I’m with you! Cannot stand the Kardashians. Still trying to figure out why they rate any air time whatsover.

  4. This is absolutely hysterical!! Visiting from SITS!

  5. I had no idea the Kardashians branded themselves to Silly Bandz! I yi yi. Stopping by from SITS. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Hei,
    Came over from SITS! This is hilarious. You have a way of writing that creates vivd pictures in my mind.

  7. LOL!! I totally agree!! Love this!! Visiting from SITS!!

  8. This is hilarious! Especially the first reason. So true…lmbo! Andrea @ http://www.be-quoted.com

  9. I know what you mean… their TV personas can come off annoying. Except I have to confess, I lived in LA and met Kris and Bruce at a few parties and quite honestly, they were some of the nicest, most real and non-contrived “celebrity” type people that I met – in the entire 10 years that I lived there (and I met A LOT of celebrities because they were our clients [at the off-premise catering and event planning company I worked for]. But everyone is entitled to their opinion, which is the wonderful thing about this country.

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year… I hope your SITS Day was superb!

    • Wow…my cousins live in LA and I live for hearing about their celeb sightings! You got to work around them? SUPER cool! If the Kardashians are nice and real in person, why can’t they put that across on TV?

  10. Oh my gosh I totally can’t stand them either but I can’t stop watching them! They are such fascinating people… crazy but fascinating!!

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge