Am I Really Qualified To Be a Mom?

It was a rough week in our house. One of our kids (who shall remain nameless) has been an absolute challenge lately. Pushing limits and testing us. Things finally came to a head at the dinner table a few nights ago. It became an epic showdown. (If you listened really hard you could almost hear the theme song from ‘The Good The Bad and The Ugly’ floating in the air.) It has taken me 4 days to even believe that my husband and I might have won this one…although we’re still not positive.

Over the past week I have learned some important lessons in parenting.
Some are pretty…most are not. 
1.) I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing. I am totally making this up as I go along.
     (Shhh…don’t tell my kids)
2.) When I get angry I yell too much…it only escalates situations that are already precarious. 
3.) My kids are more sensitive then I realize. I need to be a better listener…to really hear them.

4.) Sometimes it’s impossible to give all 3 of my kids the attention they need exactly when and how
      they need it. I’m feeling spread pretty thin these days.

5.) Apparently, I was also a strong-willed challenging child? (Um, at least that’s how my parents
     seem to remember things.) The word ‘karma’ has come up several times this week.

6.) I wasn’t prepared for my kids to do things that would disappoint me to the core. It feels
      impossible not to take it personally….and not to feel like a failure.
7.) I have a wonderful ally in my husband. We banded together over this past week and tackled
     things together. I would have gone crazy without his reassurance that I am a good mom.

8.) If there is any silver lining…I am learning from this. I am going to use it to become a better mom.

9.) I knew parenting was going to be hard…but this hard? And why does it seem like it’s only
     getting harder? And at what point do you feel like you have it down? 
10.) I am NOT qualified for this job. The responsibility of shaping little lives can be overwhelming.

Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.  After all, I have resisted the strong urge to run away and never come back. And I haven’t made it on to this list…(yet):  The 20 Worst Moms

Comments

  1. Yes, yes, YES to 2,3,9, and 10! I try to tell myself that each day will get better, but in all actuality, things get worse and I still feel like things get out of control! Then…I yell…then their feelings are hurt and they CRY! *sigh*

    • Personally, I don’t trust any mom who says she doesn’t ever yell or feel overwhelmed. I’m glad to hear I’m in good company with you Britton. Let’s hang in there. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not failing as a mom. Whenever my friends who don’t have kids yet tell me that they can’t wait to have kids I just think to myself….oh, you just wait!!!!
    As always, you are AMAZING and a role model to so many of us who follow you!

    Hugs!

    • Awww…very kind words. Thank you. It’s a relief to know that we all struggle as moms sometimes. We all have our weak spots. And being open and honest about it helps me feel better. I know you’re not failing as a mom…I’ve seen pictures that prove just how happy (and adorable) that little girl is!

  3. I am all over #10. Entrusting a child to me was a brave move God. We’ll see how I hold up. #sitssharefest

  4. {Melinda} Great List! I can relate to every. single. one. I’ve found #6 to be especially hard. Visiting from Saturday Sharefest! Following you now!

  5. there’s no such thing as a perfect mom, and none of us know what we’re doing…your kids have two parents that love each other and them.. that’s more than some kids have. don’t worry, you’re raising wonderful people ๐Ÿ™‚

    Happy Sharefest!!
    The 5th Level of Motherhood

  6. Love this post Marie and come on—- you are an amazing mama!!!! But yes we all feel like total schmucks sometimes! love it!

    • Well, for what it’s worth…things have calmed down considerably since I wrote this post. We’re back to “normal” here. Just waiting for the next wave of crazy to wash up. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for the encouragement, Grace!

  7. I think your post is a perfect example of why there is no “Rule Book” for parenting. Each kid has different needs at different times in their lives. Their challenges can seem unbearable at the time. And as we all know, parenting NEVER ends. That can be a wonderful thing, it can be heartbreaking, affirming, and eye-opening. Whatever the emotions, it is always educational. You are way too hard on yourself, Marie. You’re a wonderful mom and niece. Enjoy the journey. Your children grow up way too fast. One thing you could try is to have your niece join your family to be a great role model, a perfect friend, and the addition you all need for unforgettable game nights. It worked for us. Thanks for contributing to the make-up of our family.

    • Well THIS sure made me cry! Thanks Cathi, for your words of encouragement…they mean so much coming from you. I have had to remind myself to stop focusing on the cruddy days, or the challenges and remember that they really are good kids. Looking at the big picture rather than the small details helps me see things differently. Love you lots!!!

  8. I won’t tell your kids if you don’t tell mine that I am totally making it up as I go….
    I also tend to yell more when I’m mad — and you are right, it does NOT help! You’d think I’d get that by now and have the soft, serious voice all set to pull out for those mad mommy moments….

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge