Moms of the World…Let’s Keep It Real

Here’s what: I can’t stand it when moms put forth a fake perfect front for all the world to see. I also can’t stand it when I find myself buying into it. I did it just today. Another mom posting all about how her superior lifestyle was the way to go, and why her child is going to turn out SO much better than mine because of it. (Okay, it wasn’t exactly that extreme…but there was hardly any other way to interpret it.) We’ve all felt that pang of envy as we look through “that mom’s” Facebook feed. At her perfect children, and her perfectly professional family photos, her perfect marriage, and her perfect life experience. Friendly reminder…Don’t believe the hype! Let’s keep it real, ladies.
Dear “Perfect” Moms,

I don’t care who you are, how many kids you have, or how long you’ve been a mother. You do NOT know what you are doing. None of us do. We all doubt ourselves and our choices as parents and as women. Please stop crowding my social media feeds with 20 reasons why you’re a perfect mom. It doesn’t matter if you are a stay-at-home mom or a high powered executive….if you put your child in day care 12 hours a day or if you prefer attachment parenting…chances are, like the rest of us, you’re just trying to survive parenthood. Chances are, like the rest of us, you’re just figuring it all out as you go.

Good for you if you breastfed your kids until they were nine. Good for you if (like me) you hated breastfeeding. Good for you if you love to prepare gourmet organic meals for your kids. And good for you if (like me) you hate to cook and often serve chicken nuggets and mac and cheese with love. Just do us all a favor. Be Real About Your Life. Don’t act like you don’t have days where you’d like to run away forever. Don’t act like your marriage is perfect every day. Don’t act like you have it all under control.

Stop it. Just stop. Stop trying to convince the world you are Mother of the Year. Haven’t we all learned by now that that award doesn’t even exist? Stop trying to garner attention. Stop trying to induce my ever-present mother’s guilt. Stop trying to pretend that you don’t have mother’s guilt yourself. And for crying out loud, PLEASE stop preaching to me about what you feel is the best way to raise my kids.

Be the kind of parent you want to be and do it passionately. But don’t do it in a way that’s designed solely to impress others. Revel in the great days. Enjoy the hell out of  those moments when you feel like you really got it right! Be honest about those moments when you strike out.  And remember that being open about our imperfections teaches our kids that they don’t have to be perfect either. You enjoy your ride, and I’ll enjoy mine. Let’s meet in the middle once in a while and have some laughs about it all.

The Rest Of Us

“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”
-Jill Churchill


  1. hahaha! sing it girl! Love it!

  2. I guess you told her! Lol. Love it! We all have our struggles ad parents. Thank you for definitely keeping it real.

  3. Amen girlfriend……The only difference I see here is I enjoy cooking but I never did until recently and NO PART of me will EVER pretend to love 100% of parenthood and those who say they do……….ARE LIARS!!! 🙂 Last time I checked cleaning up puke and dealing with tantrums was not how I preferred to spend my day!! You go girl!

  4. So true Marie! I think your post should go beyond motherhood and include “keeping it real” for life! Reading this reminds me of a young teenaged girl, in the 90’s, quoting this, “You don’t have to blow out my candle to keep yours burning brightly” or something like that. You taught me that, Marie, and you continue to teach me new things in my old age. Thanks.

    • Oh My…way to go, bringing back the old school motivational quotes. Maybe I should have called this post, “Life Lessons From 7th Grade Quest Class.”

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