I Cheated On My Stylist…And Liked It. Now What?

Dear Readers,

I need your advice. If you are a woman (or a fabulous gay man), chances you will understand where I’m coming from here. I’ve had the same stylist for 2 years now. He’s fantastic. He reminds me of a hipster version of Adam Lambert…and he’d hate that I just said that. We talk about everything from politics to his love of Dolly Parton. We share a mutual love of The Real World. He shows me pictures of his new boyfriend. He’s pushed me out of my follicle comfort zone. And he gives me a hug after every appointment. I thoroughly enjoy every minute of time I spend with him. But sadly, my past few appointments with him have felt a bit uninspired. Last time I let him talk me into some serious blond highlights (again). It didn’t end very well. Let’s just say, my dad has been calling me Shakira for the past 8 weeks. 
So I had an appointment scheduled with him yesterday afternoon, and I got a call from the salon saying he had called in sick. (Probably hungover from Pride…lucky.) I very cautiously agreed to see another stylist. A stranger. That’s not technically cheating, right? I mean, it was just before a holiday weekend and my roots were out of control!
I met my “temporary” stylist, and she got straight to business, giving me several ideas for where we could go. She talked me into going from blond…to dark brunette. 180 degrees. She politely told me she wasn’t a fan of  blond on me. Oh crap…I  think I trust her! She began fixing me up. And I don’t think she said 8 words the whole time. She clearly was not interested in ripping on Michelle Bachmann with me. Nor did she care to discuss tattoos or Kim Kardashian. Hmmm. This was new, and a bit uncomfortable. But dang! She was like an sculptor. She gave me a FABULOUS new color and an even better cut. She clearly knew her shit. And I couldn’t have been happier with how I looked when I walked out of there.
So now what? I cheated on my stylist, fell for another woman, and now I’m riddled with guilt! I love my old stylist…but maybe we’re better off being just friends? There’s something about this new stylist that makes me want to secretly put my hair in her trusty hands forever. My gut is telling me to go back to her next time. But my heart is telling me to honor my 2 year long commitment to hipster Adam Lambert. With my luck, I’ll make my next appointment with HER…only to get seated in a chair right next to HIM. And he’s so sassy I’m sure he’d call my ass out. 
So here’s where I need your help, you guys. WHAT DO I DO??? Do I switch stylists? Do I give my old stylist one more chance? Do I just forget the whole thing and wear a pony tail for the rest of my life in order to avoid uncomfortable feelings? My mom’s solution to this problem cracked me up. She said to call the salon in a low voice and ask what days HE’s in. Then say, “Thanks” and hang up. Then immediately call back in my normal voice and set up an appointment with HER on a different day. So far that’s the best I’ve got! Advice welcome: I’m on the edge of a life altering cliff here…
Have you ever had salon soap opera stress like this? How did you handle it?!?


  1. Oh no! I feel for you on this one. Maybe you could keep your old stylist but tell him that you really liked how your hair looked last time and that you want to stick with what she did. Good Luck!!!!!

    • I’ve definitely thought of this option. I’m just so on the fence…one thing I forgot to mention, is she’s cheaper than he is too. Ugh!

  2. Yes, this has sort of happened to me…my hairdresser accidentally turned my hair purple. She did fix it, but it made me nervous from then on. I like Heather’s suggestion…

  3. I found your blog through the SITS girls fb post. So, I used to be a hair stylist.. my suggestion would be similar to your moms! haha. That’s such a tough call. But really, just call one day (in your own voice, haha) and ask what he has available. And, make it sound like NONE of those times work for you. Then, call another day and ask what she has available. Compare the two and you should be able to figure out a day that you can book w/her when he’s not there OR you can book with her when he is there but already has appointments. Then, if he’s there when you are… make something up about how you HAD to get in because you’ve got big plans or something. It IS hard to switch stylists and it’s always a bit of a crush to the ego when your clients switch stylists.. but, if you do it this way hopefully it won’t be too much of a hit to him, because he’ll assume that your timing is just off. Yikes.. sorry for the novel! 😉

    • No…your novel is VERY valuable information, coming from a former stylist. Ugh! The LAST thing I want to do is crush his ego. So you’re saying maybe we could just drift apart due to “conflicting schedules.” (with huge air quotes!) I’m considering….

  4. So, I am not a stylist and I am going to give you advice that I would have the hardest time following myself. But here it is – I would just be honest with Adam Lambert and deal with it like any other break up. First, make sure you pump up his ego a little “I love you, I love spending time with you, we have so much in common”, etc.” Then let him down easy. I always like to use the “it’s not you it’s me” excuse. “You’re so so edgy and cool, I don’t know if I can keep up with your vision for my hair. I think I am more compatible with (insert new girl’s name here). I hope you understand!”

    While it will be more difficult and awkward in the short run, in the long run there is a lot to be said for not having to sneak around and see the new stylist behind Adam Lambert’s back. Good luck!

    • Okay, the old, “honesty is the best policy” route. Ooh…I’d have to be very brave to do that. But at least I would have a clear conscience afterwards. My first instinct is that I’m WAY too much of a wuss to do this…but I’m mulling it over.

  5. I JUST BROKE UP WITH MY STYLIST! But she doesn’t know it yet. Part of it is distance and the hassle factor what with summer road construction. Part of it is wanting to stay local. I’ve had the same person for, eeek, 18 years. Love what she does, but maybe I’m used to it?

    My call to my ex will be “It’s been great, but I am looking for a stylist that is closer to me. I feel badly, but I also have to lighten my load where I can. You’ve been awesome!”

    • Wow…18 years?!? That’s longer than most marriages! Good luck with that call. I’m sure she’ll understand. Change is good, right?

  6. I was thinking exactly what your mom said. Get his schedule and her schedule and make sure you visit her on a day he isn’t there. But, wait! What if he comes in to get his paycheck or something and you’re sitting in her chair??? Maybe it’s a risk you’re willing to take?


    • Gasp! Can you imagine him walking in on me with another stylist??? That would be the worst. I don’t know if I’m willing to take that risk. Am I? Google, here I come!

  7. I’ve had the same experience. In fact my stylist also turned my hair purple just like Julie’s did. My solution was to move 1000 miles away. When I moved back to town I started up with someone else in a different salon although several of my friends still go to my ex and she asks them why I broke up with her. It’s a kind of extreme solution to breaking up with your stylist but it worked for me. Good luck!!!

  8. I cheated on my stylist a few months ago. Lucky for me I HATED IT!!! I love the way my stylist colors my hair. No one else can seem to get it right. However, I’ve never had a cut I like from her. So, I’m torn at what I’m going to do the next time I need a cut. I’ll grow it out for now, and just have her color it. But one day it’ll get out of control (or I will) and I’ll have to explain to her why my hair is shorter and she hasn’t seen me (I also go to church with her). When that time comes, I’ll be honest with her and let her down easily. I think you should do the same with hipster Adam Lambert. That way when you do go in, you guys can still bash Michelle Bachmann together! Good luck!! (Stopping by from SITS Sharefest)

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