Make Your Own Damn Dinner’s Guide To Outsmarting Your Kids

I’ve done it! I’ve finally figured out the secret of parenthood! And lucky for you, I’m ready to share it with all of you…my fabulous readers. You can thank me later.

So today started off rough. My husband went back to work and I’m home alone with three kids all day. This house is a disaster. There’s just…Christmas…all over the place. And right off the bat my boys were wearing me thin. Ultimately I forgot Lesson #1 from the parenthood handbook. You know. The one that says, “When we punish our kids by taking away their screens, we’re really just punishing ourselves.” Foolishly, I did it. I took away their screens…before 9 AM…during winter break! No TV. No Wii U. No iPods. Basically, no chance of me surviving this day without losing my shit. What was I thinking?!?
Halfway through the day my efforts to clean my house were failing. For every mess I cleaned up, they made 4 more. (This is what happens in a house without screens.) That’s when it hit me….
Maybe they could have their screens back. Maybe they could earn them back. By doing chores. LOTS of chores. *insert devious laughter here*
Long story short, here I sit with time to blog…while my boys are earning their screens back. So far my kitchen table is wiped down, the floors are swept, my glass patio door has been cleaned, my tables have been dusted upstairs AND down, my bathroom mirrors have been wiped down…and they’re STILL going. They haven’t even complained once. I’ve actually heard the glorious words, “What other jobs can we do Mom?” Can you hear the Hallelujah Chorus in the background? I can.
I don’t very often feel like I’ve gotten it right as a mom. But today was an exception. I totally did it! And you can too. Take this secret, all of you, and use it. I promise you it works! Go forth and outsmart your kids. It’s a fantastic feeling. This is parenting at it’s finest. 
Always trying to help, here at MYODD. 
You’re welcome.  

Comments

  1. Genius!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Love it! It’s good to be the evil genius in the house! LOL!

  3. You sound a bit like Cinderella’s wicked step mom. Just saying, you may not want to eat any apples, presented by your children, in the near future!

  4. I love this policy. My kids are a bit too young yet for serious bargaining, but when they are old enough, I’m not going to take away just their screens, but ALL THEIR THINGS. And then they have to earn them back while I watch and laugh.

    love from motherhoodhonestly.com

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