And Just Like That…My Nest Is Empty

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Today my youngest followed her big brothers off to school for the first time. After all the school shopping, pep-talks, and a million “I’m so excited for you!”s…today was finally the day. That bus pulled up and I watched all three of them climb on and ride away from me. I guess you never really get over that feeling of wanting to hop in your car and chase after your first timer just to make sure she’s going to be okay.

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In my head I am so excited for her because I know she was SO ready for this day. I know the adventures that await her are going to be amazing. I know she has two big brothers who will take such good care of her in those hallways (even if they don’t always do the same at home.) But in my heart I’m sad that my time as Mom to my “little kids” is over now. In my heart I know my role is changing in this house. And I’m honestly not exactly sure what that means right now.

It has been such a long and busy summer with three kids home full-time. There were times when I thought I was going to blow my fuse. Oh, who am I kdding? There were times when I DID blow my fuse. I have been craving solitude and silence for three months straight. And now here I sit, childless in this house for the first time since…I really can’t remember when. This solitude and quiet that I was anticipating  feels weird. And a little sad too.

I feel like a mama bird sitting in an empty nest today. Anxiously looking out the window knowing that in a few more hours all my little babies will be back under my wings safe and sound. Tomorrow we’ll get up and do it all again and it will be a little easier. Tomorrow we start settling into our new normal.

I’ve been through this before. First days  of school are always bittersweet. But there’s something magnified about it all when it’s your last one. I didn’t expect it to feel like this. Extra bitter because it’s my last one… but also extra sweet because it’s my last one. It means we’ve all made it. We’ve all survived the first chapter in one piece.  And now today we turn the page and start the next chapter. It’s going to be a good one.

I’m on the edge of my seat..

 

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